The Painful Long-Term Planning

The Painful Long-Term Planning

Planning is meant to be good. Long term planning is even better. But sometimes plans could also be the reason because of which people end up making compromises in their life. 

When we complete High School, our next big decision is to get admission to a college that provides the course of our choice. Most of us, especially in India, end up choosing the 'Big3'; Engineering, Chartered Accountancy and Medical Science. There is a certain section of students who choose one of these streams out of their own interest. The rest of them who choose one of these streams are making a 'Painful Long-Term Planning'.

The Influence of the Society

In India, we are told by our family members, relatives and society that marriage is mandatory and that every individual has to get married before 30. We keep hearing this right from a young age and we see our family members and relatives following the same. This triggers us to choose one amongst the 'Big 3' after completing high school. This is the first big compromise that we make in our lives in a series of compromises that is to follow. 

We have made up our mind that it is mandatory to get married by the age of 30. So, it becomes important for us to get settled in our professional life and become financially strong before the deadline (age 30). We end up choosing a course amongst the 'Big 3' because we believe a degree in this will help us get a good high paying job easily. And a job in one of these 3 fields is considered to be safe and secure, a risk-free method to get settled in life. We decide to bury our dreams at the age of 17 so that we can get settled in our life by the time we turn 30. For an event (marriage) that we believe is mandatory, we make a big compromise 13 years prior to it.

The Vicious Cycle

We are pressurized to get married before 30 because our society believes that this is the best biological age to have kids. And also, as the kids grow up, parents will still be in their 30's or early 40's which means they will be very active, can work relentlessly, earn more and more money and utilize it to make their kids follow the same pattern that they did. 

From a society's point of view, marriage is more or less like an obligation to have kids to take the family lineage forward. This looks more like a design..a plan..a script, and the pattern keeps continuing. Wasn't the institution of marriage meant to be for companionship, fellowship,.. emotional support. To have children, to not have children or to go for adoption should be the couple's decision. This should be treated only as a part of marriage life and should never be the purpose of marriage. So, all the compromises and sacrifices that we make are based on a vicious cycle that most of them around us are following and we jump into it blindly because everyone whom we know is doing the same. 

The Smiling Mask

People who follow this may have financial stability in their life but it in no way guarantees happiness. Or, it may exist for some point of time but is not going to last long. Some end up pretending to be happy for the rest of their lives while others who find it difficult to pretend will end up showing frustration for every small issue at home and work-place. And this is mainly because you are unhappy with your job. You may find your job manageable initially, but the fact that you have not chosen this field out of interest will definitely take a toll on you at some point of time in future. At that point in time, only one question keeps running in your mind "Had I shown some courage at 17, things may have been different today". At this phase in our life, we start feeling different emotions and start behaving weirdly with people especially with our loved ones and this becomes the root cause of Depression.

The Associated Chambers of Commerce & Industry (ASSOCHAM) conducted a survey which revealed that Employment Issue (Being in the wrong job) is one of the main reasons due to which corporate executives suffer from depression along with some of the other causes like chronic health problems, life experiences etc. Based on their survey they also made a very hard-hitting statement which read "a huge number of Indian workers put on a smiling mask to hide their pain as they head to work each day".

It’s Never too Late

Most of them who are stuck in the pattern keep giving excuses instead of trying for a change. Some say that they didn’t have a choice and were forced to do so while others state financial difficulties as the reason. First and foremost, you need to be honest with yourself. Were these genuinely the reasons because of which you held back or are you giving these reasons to escape from the feeling of guiltiness. The guilt of the fact that you could have actually shown some courage to follow your heart and these excuses were not strong enough to pull you down. 

It’s time to make a change for yourself instead of giving excuses. The ones who are in their teens, I kindly request them not to make any decision based on "The Painful Long-Term Planning". Follow your heart, be sincere, work hard and be passionate about what you do. In spite of all this, you may still not achieve the desired result. Do not take failure to your heart. The important thing is you will never feel guilty in your life because you gave a try to achieve your dream. Always have a backup. 

Have an Open Mind

The ones who are stuck in the pattern, it’s never too late. Stop giving excuses. Look around for inspiration. Some people have been through the same situation as yours. Instead of giving excuses they made an attempt to follow their heart and successfully switched their careers. Yes, that’s right, you can always switch to the career of your choice at any point of time in life. You need to have an open mind and look at the desired field in a broad sense. If you are 40 now and if sport was your first love, do not let yourself down by thinking that you cannot be a player now You can start a business on sports goods, conduct sports events in your area, provide coaching, start a sports-based NGO etc.

Similarly, if music was your first love, you can get started by providing music training sessions to people in your area instead of thinking if it’s too late to make an attempt to get into movies. Love the work, do not bother much about the field. You may feel that there is just one option in a specific field, but if you really love the work then you will see wide opportunities in the field. It’s time to throw the smiling mask away and let the smile on your face be a natural one that comes from the bottom of your heart.

AUTHOR NAME - Vinod Balan [Member of Play2Discover NGO]
AUTHOR MAIL - vinod.balan883@gmail.com

AUTHOR PH NUM - +919710844641

(My name is Vinod. I have created this blog for my NGO and I have written this content. I have sent a request to publish this in a reputed article writing website in which I had registered a few days ago with username as Vinod0790. The article website owner can be assured that this will not create any plagiarisation issue as I am the sole owner of this content.)