Don't lose your identity trying to be someone else

The Importance of knowing your Strengths & Weaknesses

I have always been a big Sachin fan. However, during my childhood days whenever I played cricket, I have always tried to bat like Dravid. Many kids loved playing aggressively and hitting those big sixes gave them a huge satisfaction. But, in my case, I was very obsessed with remaining not out till the end. Quite strangely hitting those boundaries and sixes didn’t give me the kind of satisfaction that I got by remaining unbeaten till the end. When compared to other kids I didn’t have the power to hit those big sixes. I realized my weakness and decided to utilize my strength which is running quickly between the wickets.

Though I was not as strong as my friends, I had much better stamina. I could run for the whole day. The fear factor also helped. The fear of losing my wicket. The probability of losing your wicket is more when you bat aggressively, as a result of which I decided to bat more cautiously and defensively. Even after growing up, I continued this style of playing although I am not underweight now like I used to be during my childhood days. This is because I enjoy playing like this, and it gives me a sense of the fact that this is who I am, and I do not want to deviate from this.

Why do we always try to be someone else?

But it hasn’t always been easy. There were times when I got deviated and distracted. This happens when your mind gets tempted. When you see someone hitting a shot that goes past the boundary rope and travels a big distance, and when you see him getting applauded and cheered by everyone, we become fascinated by it and want those cheers for ourselves too. This has happened to me a couple of times. Taking singles or remaining not out doesn’t evoke this kind of response.

There have been times when some of my friends had hit one or two sixes and got out quickly. But they were applauded, and people kept speaking about those shots for the entire day. I thought it was unfair because I strongly felt that batting throughout the innings by taking singles is more tiring and requires more effort. In my attempt to get those applauds, I tried to play aggressively a couple of times but failed miserably. The other reason why I tried to play like this was that I wanted to prove others wrong who felt that I am not capable of playing aggressively and even mocked me for it.

Even in other sports like soccer, you may find such situations. Defenders and midfielders play a key role in every match but it’s the forward players who are showered with praises as they are the ones who score goals most often. It can be difficult for an aspiring defender or a mid-field player to digest this as they are the ones who lay the path for the forward players and make it easy for them to score a goal. If they try to switch and play as forward players because of external factors like garnering praise or proving someone wrong, it will most likely result in failure.

What happens when we try to be someone else?

The day you try to become someone else, you lose your identity and your purpose in life. Most of the time we try to live like someone else based on false assumptions. You may find the other person’s way of living to be more conventional and our society also tells us that it’s the right thing to do and will appreciate you if you follow the same. And the other reason why you try to change yourself is that you want to prove a point to someone. If you are trying to become an athlete, and if someone says that it’s all about physical effort and you don’t have the intellect to become a writer, then in a fit of rage if you quit the sports field to become a writer only to prove that person wrong, it would be utter foolishness.

Always remember this saying “Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. When others find you to be stupid, trust me, it is much better than you feel the same about yourself.

Make Your Happiness a Priority

Not just in your professional life, this can be applied to your personal life as well. Most of us have an inferiority complex when it comes to our physique, complexion, hairstyle, dressing sense etc. Not just the way we look, but we also tend to have an inferior feeling with respect to our caste, religion, nativity etc. We need to be proud of who we are and what we believe in and also respect others for what they are and what they believe in.

If you are dark-skinned or short or bald then you need to just accept it, embrace it and be proud of it. If you hail from an underdeveloped state or nation then there is nothing to be embarrassed about it. Let people mock you. But if you are going to hide your identity or lie about it, no matter what, you will never feel good about it. We try to satisfy those who do not play any significant role in our progress in life, and in doing so, we end up losing our happiness.

Unforeseen Circumstances are Temporary

There might be certain rare scenarios where we may have to change some of our thoughts and beliefs. Certain situations may demand us to do something that we are not passionate about or something that we don’t believe in.

Dressing is about freedom of expression, and people judging you based on your dressing style and fashion sense shouldn’t affect you in any way. However, when it comes to the workplace if there is a formal dress code in place then we may have to adhere to it.

You could be passionate about something which is unconventional but you may be forced to take up a regular job for some time because of an unexpected financial crunch or medical emergency in the family.

I love batting defensively but if 6 runs are required to win with just 1 ball remaining then I will have to play an aggressive shot and try to clear the boundary rope. Similarly, an aggressive batsman may have to bat defensively if the team has lost all the wickets and if there are many overs to play out.

Always remember that such scenarios are temporary and not permanent. And, once things get back to normal, we can return to becoming our original selves.

The Fear Factor

The fear of losing my wicket made me bat more cautiously and defensively. The fear factor helped me realize my real strength and explore a new dimension in my batting ability. Sometimes, having fear could be a good thing. You start thinking more and understand new things about yourself which you were not aware of earlier.

It makes you plan things in an organized manner, it makes sure that you are not overconfident about something, and more importantly, the fear of losing will always make sure that you remain humble and grounded. Being nervous about something is absolutely fine. Just make sure that the fear does not get the better of you.

Let’s Focus on Achieving Our Goals

The main purpose of a football player is not just scoring goals but to make sure that his team wins. A forward player may score more goals but the other players also equally contribute to a team’s victory. We should focus more on the process and not the end result. If we get the process right then the output will always be good. Laying the foundation for scoring a goal is the most significant part. If this is executed properly then a goal will be scored most definitely. Defenders and mid-field players instead of being dejected for not being able to score goals should be proud of themselves for laying the foundation successfully for the forward players to score goals that result in their team’s victory.

We should know what our goal in life is, and try our best to achieve that. We should not waste our life by trying to live like someone else and by trying to achieve their goals. The day we realize this, it would be our biggest accomplishment in life.

AUTHOR NAME - Vinod Balan [Member of Play2Discover NGO]
AUTHOR MAIL - vinod.balan883@gmail.com
AUTHOR PH NUM - +919710844641

(My name is Vinod. I have created this blog for my NGO and I have written this content. I have sent a request to publish this on a reputed article writing website. The article website owner can be assured that this will not create any plagiarism issue as I am the sole owner of this content.)